Two Tricks For A Treat
by LilyGhost
Summary: It's Halloween and Valerie needs a huge favor from Stephanie. Add in Ranger, Lula, and two FTAs, and Steph's night is sure to be full of treats ... and freaks.


**I was going to wait a few days to post this, but due to Hurricane Sandy set to hit my area, and the possible power outages caused by her, I'm posting this Halloween story early. I'm not exactly sure how old Lisa is, since she was born in To The Nines, but I made her old enough to be able to be part of this story. All familiar characters belong to Janet. Any mistakes are mine. Happy Halloween!**

"_Please, _Stephanie," Valerie said."I'm desperate."

That was obvious since she was calling me for help.

"Why can't Mom take Angie and Mary Alice trick or treating?"

"She volunteered for the lodge's Halloween party. So Mom and Dad aren't going to be home."

Lucky them, I thought.

"How about Grandma Mazur?" I asked."I bet she's free."

There was nothing but phone silence. I blew out a sigh. If I was Valerie I wouldn't trust Grandma to take my kids out alone on Halloween, either. She would probably claim to have been abducted by aliens and leave the kids to their own devices. And considering how Mary Alice was a lot like Grandma and I, that wasn't a good thing.

"Fine," I said."I'll take them. What time do I have to be there?"

"The hours are six to eight," she said."So as long as you're here before six."

I was going to shoot for 5:58. I love my nieces, but a hamster is still more my speed.

I hung up and went in search of Ranger. The Rangeman building was seven floors so I couldn't always be sure where in the building he was at any given time. I found him in his office on the fifth floor. And he was alone. Perfect.

I knocked on the doorjamb to get his attention."Umm ... Ranger?"

He looked over at me with a small smile on his lips, his eyes warm when they landed on me. That's why I was surprised at what he said next.

"No."

"What do you mean_ no_?" I said."I haven't even asked you anything yet."

"Your tone suggests that you're hoping I'll say yes to whatever it is," Ranger said."And if you're_ hoping _I will, then I know whatever you're going to ask me to do is going to be bad."

"It's not totally bad," I told him.

"What is it?"

"Valerie called ..."

"If Valerie is calling you for help, Babe, it's worse than bad."

"Hey!" Never mind that I was just thinking the same thing."The kids need a chaperone to go out trick or treating tonight."

"Steph," Ranger said,"I'm not going to help Valerie's kids beg complete strangers for candy. I didn't participate in any part of Halloween as a kid. And I'm not about to start now as an adult."

"Please," I said to him."How about if I promise you a_ treat _later?" I asked.

"You were going to give me one anyway."

"Jeez. It's not like I'm asking you to dress up or anything," I told him."I just need an extra set of eyes to help me watch the kids. This is what you do for a living, remember? Just because it's Halloween, and involves children, doesn't change that."

"I could send Vince or Bobby with you."

"Vince and Bobby are fun," I said,"but I would rather spend the night with you."

"Low blow, Babe," Ranger said.

"Yeah, it was," I told him."**B**ut it's also true. And plus the kids are used to seeing you. Having large scary men trailing after them would ruin any fun that they might have."

"All right. I'll go with you," Ranger said."But you'd better be rested up for when we get back."

"I even promise to not eat any candy so my jelly-doughnut-hormones will be in overdrive and ready to be taken care of by you."

"Permanently?" Ranger asked.

"Not a chance," I said to him. Ranger was _way _beyond good, but some days I still needed a doughnut.

"Did you have plans for tonight?" I asked him."I should have asked you that first."

"Would it have gotten me out of this if I had?"

"Not unless civilization was on the verge of collapse," I told him.

"Had to try," Ranger said.

"I tried, too," I told him."Valerie wasn't letting me, though."

"My plans for the night involved you," Ranger said."So where you go, I go."

"What about you saying that you'd send some of the guys with me?"

"Wasn't going to," Ranger said."I just wanted to hear what'd you say."

"Did I pass?"

"With flying colors, Babe," he said, crossing the room to me.

He grabbed my hips with both hands and pulled me close until our bodies were brushing. I might have sighed judging by the way Ranger's eyes suddenly darkened. What surprised me more than how comfortable we were together, was the fact that we still wanted each other like crazy. I was worried in the beginning, that part of what Ranger felt for me was based on the chase. That once Joe was totally out of the picture, Ranger would get bored with me. But the opposite appeared to be true. Now that I was his, his words not mine but no less accurate, Ranger was even more open and caring towards me. And we hadn't sacrificed passion for commitment. In other words, neither one of us could keep their hands off the other one. It wasn't just Ranger, either. The minute Ranger entered my airspace, every cell in my body went on high alert in a very intriguing way.

"Babe, if you don't stop looking at me like that, we're going to be christening my desk. And I don't want to chance Lester overhearing anything."

I blew out a breath and willed my body to calm down. I swear, Ranger is a walking libido enhancer. I took a mental step back from him so my brain could focus again, but kept my body where it was pressed against his.

"Valerie said we need to be at her house before six o'clock," I told Ranger.

"What time do you want to leave?"

"It takes ten minutes to get there," I said,"so 5:49?"

Ranger leaned forward and kissed me."Not a moment to spare?" He asked, when he pulled back.

"Not if I can help it," I told him. I untangled myself from Ranger's arms and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked me.

"I'm going to go change."

"Please tell me you're not wearing a costume."

"You'll see," I told him."You can come get me when you're ready to leave."

I left him and walked back to the elevator.

"What's with the smile?" Bobby asked me.

"I'm spending Halloween with my family," I told him.

He looked confused."Usually you're ready to jump off a bridge or eat a bullet when you have to spend time with your family."

"While that would normally be true," I told him, stepping into the elevator,"tonight has all kinds of possibilities."

At five-forty I heard Ranger come into the apartment. I wasn't technically living on seven, but most of my clothes have taken up residence in Ranger's closet. And I was actually okay with it. More than okay if I thought about it. And I think it had more to do with our relationship than the water pressure in Ranger's shower.

I walked into the kitchen wearing black jeans, a skin tight black t-shirt, and black CAT boots. Ranger didn't say anything after checking out my clothes, but his mouth curved up in the almost smile.

"See," I said,"now we're both dressed up like contract killers. "

"Babe, I'm not a contract killer," Ranger said."At least, I haven't been since June."

Great. Ranger humor. At least, I _hoped_ it was Ranger humor.

"Did you tell the guys where you were going tonight?" I asked him.

"They don't need to know."

"What if we need backup?" I asked him. Ranger didn't mind me being a smartass. Most of the time he liked my ass ... smart or otherwise.

"I'm sure we can handle three kids, Babe," Ranger said to me."Even if they are members of your family."

"Funny," I said."Come on, Valerie will kill me if we're even a second late."

"I'm ready whenever you are."

We took the stairs down; probably my punishment for making Ranger do something holiday like. He unlocked the Cayenne and I climbed into the passenger seat. The only time I get to drive it is when I'm alone or out with Lula. It didn't bother me, though. There were worse things than being driven around town by Ranger. Of course, thinking of the night I had ahead of me once we got back here, there were also _better_ things. Ranger slid behind the wheel and drove to Valerie and Albert's house.

He parked at the curb in front of the house with five minutes to spare, and turned the ignition off."There's still time to back out of this, Babe," Ranger said to me.

"Not likely," I said, pointing to the window where three little faces were pressed against the window, looking out at us.

Valerie had the door open and was waiting for us on their tiny front porch with a crumpled tissue held against her nose.

"Wow, Val," I said."You look like crap."

She gave her nose a good wipe."Thanks a lot, Steph," she said to me."That's what every woman longs to hear."

"Sorry. How's Albert doing?"

She sneezed before answering."You'd think he was dying or something. I have the same symptoms as he does, and_ I _can still take care of the girls and get some sort of food on the table."

Albert Kloughn wasn't easy to be around on a good day, add the flu and you want to avoid him at all costs. How Valerie dealt with everything she does, and still stay sane, I'll never know.

"How'd Stephanie rope you into babysitting my brood?" Valerie asked Ranger.

"She has her ways," Ranger said, making me blush.

Valerie smiled."I bet," she said, and then winked at me before the kids came rushing out behind her.

"Hi, Aunt Steph," Mary Alice said."Mom said you were taking us out trick or treating."

"Yep."

"What are you supposed to be?" Angie asked, looking at Ranger and I.

"FBI agents?"

"They wear suits, and have radios in their ears or on their wrists," she said.

"Okay," I said to her."I'm not really dressed up as anything other than a Rangeman employee."

"That's not a very good costume," Angie said to me.

"I know it isn't, but Ranger didn't want me to dress up."

"Is that true?" She asked Ranger.

"Not exactly."

"Are you coming with us," Mary Alice asked Ranger.

"Yes."

"Cool!"

Ranger raised an eyebrow at me.

I leaned close to him so the girls wouldn't hear me."Joe never got a _cool _from Mary Alice."

"I'm honored," he said, and kissed me before I pulled away from him.

"Careful," Valerie said to us."That's how I caught this stupid flu in the first place."

The image of Valerie and Albert doing anything close to what I'd done with Ranger effectively killed any romantic thoughts I'd had.

Valerie handed Lisa over to me."Stay in the neighborhood," she told me."Only go to houses that have their lights on. And don't let the girls out of your sight."

"I got it, Val. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried," she said."You brought Ranger. No one would try anything with him around."

"That's what convinced him to come with me tonight. Let's roll," I said to the girls.

If I hadn't heard Valerie talking to my mother about the girls costumes last week, I probably wouldn't have had any idea what Mary Alice and Angie were dressed up as. We'd obviously come a long way from Wonder Woman masks and holy sheet ghosts. Mary Alice wanted to be a horse, but it was hard to wear a horse costume with only one person to fill it. So instead she opted for dressing as a jockey. Her thinking was that if she couldn'tbea horse, then she was going to be someone who rode one. Angie was going as Eleanor Roosevelt. She did a report on her in school and had been obsessed with her ever since. I thought she made a great first lady, but it didn't make for the most identifiable, or the most attractive, Halloween costume. She had her hair pinned up and wore a vintage flower print dress with a white lace collar, Easter-type hat, complete with netting, and what looked like my mother's pearl necklace. Lisa was the only one I could recognize and relate to, since I often felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

Fall was hands down my favorite season. I love the sudden chill in the air, the way the colored leaves made everything look brighter. How pumpkins appeared on everyone's doorsteps, announcing the start of the holiday season. And how the sun now created shadows where there was only sunshine before. Fall, to me, was a reminder to enjoy the outside world before you had to think about piling on sweaters and shoveling out your car. It was almost as if the world was taking a deep breath before winter hit.

And Halloween was my favorite holiday. I mean, getting to pretend to be something you're not, and having complete strangers give you free candy? What's not to like about it? And tonight was perfect for walking around the Burg neighborhoods. Ranger was holding my left hand and Lisa held tightly to my right one. You could tell it was fall, but the cold weather that we usually had this time of year hadn't set in yet. There were only a few leaves left on the trees. And the unmistakeable crunching and rustling of the ones on the ground as we walked through them, added to the slightly spooky feel of the night. It was already almost dark and we could see glow sticks and flashlights everywhere we looked. I was momentarily transported back to when Valerie and I went trick or treating along these same streets, fighting over who got the best candy when we got back home. I smiled at the memory.

"Good thoughts, Babe?" Ranger asked me.

"Yes," I said."It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was where Mary Alice and Angie are now. It's scary to think about how much older I am than the girls."

"You and Lula were fighting over a candy bar just yesterday," Ranger said.

"Just because she ate hers too fast, doesn't mean she should get mine."

"And you're worried about being old?" Ranger asked.

"Are you implying that I'm immature?"

"No, Babe. I'm not stupid."

"Good," I told him,"because I would have kicked you in the shin if you were."

Ranger smiled at me."I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

We kept Lisa with us while Mary Alice and Angie walked a few steps ahead of us. Ranger and I weren't as embarrassing to be with as their parents were, but we were still adults, and therefore had to be partly invisible to them at all times. I let Angie and Mary Alice have dibs on the houses before I walked up to the doors with Lisa and helped her hold her bag open for candy. Ranger waited in the shadows of the driveways keeping an eagle eye on me and the three girls, not letting anyone wander away and looking suspiciously at anyone who stopped too long near us. I was touched that he took the safety of my nieces as seriously as he took mine. I knew he would. Ranger would never let a child get hurt if he was there to stop it. But to see him in action made me love him even more.

We were an hour into what Ranger referred to as _candy-begging _when I saw something moving in the backyard of the house we stopped at. My Spidey Sense was up and running, and I squinted my eyes in an attempt to see what it was a little better. I wasn't all that surprised at who I saw.

I gestured to the backyard."I should have known that he'd come out tonight."

"Who?" Ranger asked me.

"Sammy Zwicker," I told him."I've been trying to catch him all week, but he's always one step ahead of me. He's not quite right in the head, either."

"As opposed to your usual skips?"

"True, but Sammy's different. He likes to play superhero at night. He pins a towel around his neck and claims he has the power to save the world."

"And that's what he got picked up for?"

"Sort of," I said."The problem with Sammy is that he goes out specifically looking for something to save. Which has him peeking into more than his fair share of windows. Turns out people don't really like that, even when they find out he doesn't mean any harm by it. Once people see someone peeping into their homes, they tend to not listen to anything that defends the peeper."

"And you're going to do what now?" Ranger asked me, noticing how I was already scanning the yard.

"Uh ... catch him."

"What about the girls?"

I picked up Lisa and handed her to Ranger."You can watch them for me," I said."I'll be right back."

I looked back at Ranger before I rounded the side of the house and took a second to check for drool at the picture he and Lisa made. Good thing for Ranger that I didn't want any children, otherwise I would have been tempted to have a baby right then and there just to see him holding one. He was freakin' hot! I told all my hormones to knock it off, and tried to focus my eyes to see if I could catch sight of my skip. I saw Ranger reach for his phone before I left him and Lisa, and knew that he would be calling one of the guys to haul Zwicker in since we had the girls with us. But I at least wanted to be able to say that I was the one who located him if I couldn't bring him in myself.

I saw Zwicker crossing into the neighboring yard and I hurried after him. He happened to turn when I was about ten feet away from him and saw me moving in his direction. He must have recognized me because he immediately took off running. He probably would have gotten away, too, since I couldn't run nearly as fast as he could, but luck was on my side. There was a six-foot high fence dividing the yard he ran into from the neighbors on one side. He was trapped between me and the fence. So he did the only logical thing he could do at the time to get away from me, and climbed the almost twenty-foot maple tree he'd been standing next to. Great! There was no way in hell I was climbing anything other than Ranger tonight. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Ranger's number.

"Are the guys on their way?" I asked him.

He didn't pretend that he didn't know what I was talking about."Yes. Where are you?"

"Two houses over from where you are," I told him."It's the white house with the dark green trim. I have my skip treed in their backyard."

"Treed?"

"Yeah. He ran into a fence and decided to take escape option number two," I said."Are the girls with you?"

"Yes." Like I even needed to ask? "Hal just drove up. He was the closest vehicle in the area. I'll send him to you, but I want you back here with me. Let them get Zwicker down."

"You won't get any arguments from me there."

"That's a first," he said.

"Hey!" I said. I could hear muffled talking and I assumed it was Ranger telling Hal where Zwicker and I were, and then he was back on the line.

"Hal's on his way."

I disconnected and by the time I looked over my shoulder, I saw Hal and Woody heading my way.

Hal had a smile on his face as he looked up at the tree."This is a lot better than a car full of monkeys," he said to me.

"You're only saying that because monkeys creep you out."

Ranger once made him drive a car full of rescue monkeys to the Pine Barrens. It was something that he'd been well compensated for. And was also something he swore he'd never do again.

"He's all yours," I said to Hal and Woody."How you get him down is up to you."

"That's what Ranger said."

"Have fun," I said, walking away.

I made my way back to where Ranger was standing. Lisa was looking comfortable in his arms and Angie and Mary Alice were on either side of him. I told my biological clock to shut the hell up and walked over to them.

"Where were you?" Angie asked."Mom's gonna be mad that you left us."

"I saw someone from work and I had to go talk to him." It wasn't exactly a lie. Zwicker_ was _my work for that week. And I did need to talk to him to tell him that I was arresting him. Crap! He took one look at me and scooted up the tree before I could even tell him I was arresting him. That's me. Stephanie Plum, Bounty Hunter Extraordinaire.

We finished out the last hour. Neither Angie, Mary Alice, or Lisa were willing to forgo the extra pound of candy they were sure they'd get if we kept at it instead of heading back to their house. And I could understand. When I was a kid, I had the whole neighborhood scoped out. I knew which house gave out the best variety of candy. Who gave out the regular-sized candy bars. And which seniors' houses to avoid, because they only gave out boxes of raisins or popcorn balls every year. And my butt wouldn't be back in our own yard until the clock struck eight o'clock and not one second sooner.

We circled back to Valerie's house and she was back on the porch, handing out the last of the candy for the night. The kids visiting the Kloughn house would more than likely leave with more than just candy. She may not be up for walking around the Burg for a couple of hours, but there was no way Valerie would be accused of shirking her candy duties, too. Even if she was justifiably sick with the flu.

"Look at all the candy we got, Mom," Angie said, showing Valerie the almost over flowing candy bag.

"Candy!" Lisa said, trying to hold up her own bag of loot.

"Wow," Valerie said."Did you leave any candy for the rest of the kids?"

"Not if they could help it," I said.

The girls each took one of Lisa's hands and started to walk into the house with her.

"Aren't you girls forgetting something?" Valerie asked them.

"Thank you, Aunt Stephanie, Ranger, for taking us trick or treating," Angie said.

"Yeah," Mary Alice said,"I had fun."

Lisa insisted on giving both Ranger and I a sloppy kiss on the cheek before she followed her sisters into the house, and my heart melted. Maybe kids aren't so scary after all.

"Thanks, Steph," Valerie said."I really appreciate you doing this. The kids would have been disappointed if they couldn't have gone out tonight. What a stupid time to get sick."

"Getting sick is not something that you can control, Val," I told her. Unless of course you count keeping your lips to yourself."And tonight was no problem. We had fun, too. And I also caught one of my skips, so it was a good night for everyone."

"You picked up a criminal with the girls there?"

"No," I told her, quickly."Ranger stayed with the girls while I caught him. And Ranger called two of his men to pick the guy up. The girls weren't anywhere near him. I'm not _that_ bad."

"You had me a little concerned there."

"I usually do," I said to her."We should get going. I hope you and Albert get better soon."

"Thanks again, Steph. And you too, Ranger," Valerie said."I hope you guys don't end up getting sick from this."

"Ranger never gets sick," I told her."So he's safe."

"Never?" She asked him.

"No."

"He orders the germs to stay away from him and they move on to us unsuspecting mortals instead."

"Babe."

"What? It's true," I said to him."In all the time I've known you, you've never been sick."

"That's what happens when you eat right and exercise," Ranger said, patiently."You end up staying healthy. And you don't get sick."

"Nope," I told him,"I'm sticking with my germ theory." I would gladly trade my health if it meant that I didn't have to eat like Ranger. Salad was okay once in a while, but I couldn't function without Tastykakes and doughnuts on a regular basis.

We said goodnight to Valerie and walked slowly back to the Cayenne. Ranger seemed like he was enjoying the night, too. I supposed a night spent doing something that didn't involve life or death situations every other minute was new to him. He seemed relaxed, and he'd had a small smile on his lips for most of the night. I'd have to remember to take him out trick or treating next year.

He beeped the car unlocked and opened my door for me. When I was buckled in, he got behind the wheel and headed for Haywood. When we halfway to his building, my cell rang. It was Lula.

"I was invited to this exclusive Halloween party," she said."They said only popular people like myself were invited to it, so I said _'fuck yeah'_. You know how much I like dressin' up." I knew, since she did it_ daily_. "And you'll never guess who showed his face at this same party. Well, it wasn't exactly his face that he was showing, but I still recognized him. He must've crashed it, since he ain't the least bit popular ..."

"Who'd you see?" I asked, cutting her off before she could get too distracted.

"Rocky Savlen."

"You're kidding me?" Ranger looked over at me.

"Nuh-uh," Lula said."It's him. And he got all dressed up and everything."

"What's he wearing then?" I asked."A hat?"

"Close," she said to me."You gotta see this for yourself."

"Okay, we're on our way."

"_We're_? Who you with?" She asked."As if I didn't know."

"Ranger and I were on our way back to Rangeman."

"Well, if you want this guy," she said to me,"then you'd better get your skinny ass over here."

"What's the address?"

I repeated it to Ranger after I hung up with Lula.

"According to Lula, I'm supposed to get my skinny ass over there," I said to Ranger."Pronto."

"I'll take your_ 'skinny ass' _anywhere it wants to go," Ranger said, giving me his 200-watt smile.

I believe he might have taken it to heaven last night, but I didn't think his ego needed the boost.

Ranger didn't bother with the GPS to find the warehouse-style building. And Lula was standing outside of it when we got there, obviously waiting for us.

"A nurse?" I asked when we reached her, trying not to stare at her costume.

"Yeah, a nurse," she said."When I was workin' on Stark, lots of men told me I took away_ all _their pain."

Oh brother. But then again, maybe a nurse was appropriate since I was feeling a little queasy just looking at her. She didn't exactly look bad in her outfit, but more that there was a lot of her to see. And I mean_ A LOT._ The little white halter dress was unzipped halfway down her boobs. The hem was barely covering her ass. And she had on white fishnet thigh-high stockings with little red bows on the top of them. Red knee-high stiletto boots with five-inch heels finished the look. If Lula couldn't cure you, then she sure as heck could distract you enough to forget about whatever you thought was wrong with you. I was afraid, though, that if she had to reach for something, or bend down for any reason, she could cause injury to herself as well as to anyone standing close to her.

"I know he's Batman," she said to me, pointing to Ranger,"but what're you supposed to be?"

"A bounty hunter?"

"Yeah, right."

"Hey!" I said to her."I'll have you know that I just picked up someone about an hour ago."

"Who'd you grab?"

"Sammy Zwicker."

"No shit, really?"

"Yup," I told Lula."I never saw a person climb a tree so fast in my life."

"Sounds like there's a story there," Lula said,"but you don't got time to tell it. I think ol' Rocky here is gettin' ready to take his balls and go home."

This didn't sound good. Lula turned to go back into the building, and I quickly squeezed my eyes shut. The front was bad enough. I really didn't want to see her costume from behind.

When Lula was far enough away, Ranger leaned over to me.

"I should have rethought this costume thing," he said,"because all I can think about is what you'd look like wearing that instead of Lula."

My pulse went into double time. I never had reason to question Ranger's sex drive, but that was saying something extraordinary about it. If any man could still think sexual thoughts after seeing Lula in all her medical glory, then he had to have superhuman levels of testosterone running through his body.

The inside of the warehouse looked like one of those party stores threw up all it's contents into it. There were black, orange, and purple streamers everywhere. Yards of fake spider webs hung from the ceiling, and there was a fake corpse lounging in one of the chairs in the corner of the room. At least, I think it was fake. I wasn't looking any closer, I didn't want to know either way.

"He's been hangin' around by the bathrooms all night," Lula said."I don't know what the hell he's doing, but he sure looks bad doing it."

Now Rocky Savlen _could _say that he went to the party dressed as Hugh Hefner, but he was missing more to his outfit than just the captain's hat. He didn't have on any silk pajamas under his smoking jacket, and the smoking jacket was minus the belt that would have done the world a lot of good by keeping the robe closed. And from what I could see of him, if Hugh was built anything like Rocky, it's no wonder he needed a shitload of money to keep beautiful woman surrounding him.

"Grandma Mazur was right," I whispered to Ranger."All the freaks really do come out on Halloween."

"Do you want me to cuff him?" Ranger asked, looking at Savlen.

"Would you think less of me if I said yes?" I asked him, only half joking. I really didn't want _anything_ of Rocky's to touch me. I imagined Ranger naked to blot out the sight of Savlen, and suddenly felt a lot better about things. Mainly because the sooner I got Savlen to the station, the sooner I'd get to replace my memory with reality."No. My skip - my responsibility," I said, more to convince myself than Ranger.

I took a deep breath and strolled over to Rocky. He didn't notice me at all because he was busy watching one particularly sexy witch standing at the little bar that had been set up against one wall. And if the sudden dancing in the opening of the robe was anything to go by, I was betting that she had cast some sort of spell on him. Yuck! Think more Ranger - less Rocky, I told myself, and kept moving. I waited until I was between Savlen and the back door before I spoke to him.

"Rocky Savlen?"

He pried his eyes off of the witch and looked over at me. Ranger and Lula had moved closer, but since Rocky was more _icky_ than_ dangerous_, they weren't reaching for their collective weapons, though I had no idea where Lula would have hidden one if she was carrying. Rocky had been arrested, and bailed out by Vinnie, twice before for indecent exposure. But he hadn't been around any children when he flashed his goods. And he never harassed anyone, so I didn't really think he warranted being shot unless it was with a tranquilizer dart in the ass. I briefly wondered why no one seemed bothered by the pervert attending their party, then I remembered the 'body' I saw when we first walked in here. Depending on where you lived, if you didn't notice anything you didn't get _involved_ in anything. And sometimes that very thinking kept you alive.

"Uh ... yeah."

"My name's Stephanie Plum," I told him."And I work for Vincent Plum Bail Bonds."

"Shit."

"Yup. You need to come with me."

"I don't want to," he said.

"Tough," I said to him."You had the choice to show up for court and you didn't. Now you have no choice left at all aside from coming with me."

I saw his eyes dart towards the restrooms that were a few feet behind him, and I knew that he was going to run. I rolled my eyes. How he thought running into a room with no exits was going to help him, I had no idea. Of course, Ranger and Lula were blocking the only way out through the front, and he'd have to go through me to get out the back. And there was no tree to climb in here, so I guess he took the only escape plan left. He bolted towards the men's room and what happened next filled me with joy. The bathroom door swung open at the same time Rocky was reaching for the handle of it. The howl of pain that Savlen let go when the door connected with his still stiff package would have made even dogs cover their ears. Savlen fell to the floor, cupping himself, and made pathetic whimpering noises. I'd briefly wondered if he'd taken something to keep the stiffy at full mast, but I could clearly tell now that he hadn't. I guess even a witch could lose to a well swung door.

Lula burst out laughing."He should have come tonight as a hockey player," she said to me."He don't got much, but at least his little nasty would've had a cup to protect it from the door."

Ranger, Lula, and I stood over Savlen and waited until he could stand on his own before we tried to move him. Lula was still laughing. Ranger was quiet, but I could see a hint of amusement in his eyes. And me somewhere between the two. I felt a little bad for him, because if for some reason the object of his affection returned it, Rocky wouldn't be able to do anything about it now. Then again, he shouldn't have tried to run away from me, so maybe he deserved what happened.

Ranger held Rocky upright while I cuffed his wrists behind his back. We walked him out to the Cayenne and loaded him into the back seat, making sure his robe covered everything it possibly could. I got in next to Ranger and we headed to the Trenton PD.

The station was an absolute nuthouse. We got Rocky inside just in time to see Eddie Gazarra leading a fellow officer away in cuffs. He caught me staring on his way by.

"Impersonator," Eddie said to me."We get at least one every year."

"Damn," I said."How come I never thought of that? I probably could have gotten some free doughnuts, too."

"Yeah," Eddie said to me,"maybe if you went to a different state where no one recognized you as the bounty hunter that burned down the funeral home."

"It was mostly Grandma Mazur who burned it down," I said to him."Not me."

"One in the same," Eddie said back. And quickly left before I could hit him for it.

We processed Savlen and, after about a twenty minute wait, I got my capture receipt for him. Ranger took my hand as we walked back out to his car. I stared out my car window on the way back to Rangeman. It was completely dark now. The kids were all safely back home, well on their way to candy-induced stomachaches. And only the inside lights of houses were on. Tonight was drastically different than Halloween's I'd had in the past. But I'd grown up enough to realize that _different_ can also mean _better._ I looked over at Ranger, his profile lit briefly by the occasional street light, and smiled. Different was_ definitely _better.

Ranger turned into the garage and parked next to the Turbo.

I slid out of the Cayenne's passenger seat, and wrapped my arm around Ranger's waist when I reached him.

"Stairs or elevator?" Ranger asked me, smiling because he already knew the answer.

"I just spent two hours walking around the Burg," I told him."_And_ chased two skips. You don't really expect me to do anymore exercise, do you?"

"Technically, you only chased one skip. The other one caught himself. But no, Babe," Ranger said, hitting the seven button on the elevator."I'd rather you save your remaining energy for when we get upstairs."

Hearing that, I suddenly felt like I could run up all seven flights of stairs if it got me in his bed faster, but I was smart enough to not say that out loud. The elevator doors opened and Ranger pulled me into it.

As soon as we entered the apartment, and the door was locked behind us, Ranger turned his eyes on me.

When Ranger looked at me like that at the end of the day, I knew that I didn't need to pretend to be something I wasn't. Just like I could see beneath the Batman persona and possible super powers to the incredible man they concealed, Ranger could look past all of my imperfections and just love _me. _And love me he did.


End file.
